That's intense
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize