this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
