Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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