is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
