I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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