The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i think i just lost a toe
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
