somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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