belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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