It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
