Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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