DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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