i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize
