Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
