We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
