You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
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