Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
