oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
