i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
