Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
