im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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