Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
