There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
