I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
