Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
