grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize