why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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