I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
