Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
