uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize