Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
