I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize