Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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