I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize