It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
