I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize