I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
