Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
When did angry sex become our thing?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
