Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
