Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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