i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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