can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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