Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
