From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
