Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i was born a porn star she said
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
