what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
