Got a toothbrush?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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