Farmville is her only friend.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
