I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
