all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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