Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Can you bring me the toilet please
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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