i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
