What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
