If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
