Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There's always time for handjobs
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
my liver is dry heaving
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
