She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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