There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
