It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
How external is "for external use only"?
This baby is an asshole
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
