People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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