Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
