i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
How external is "for external use only"?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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