Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just want nice things and good sex
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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