Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
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