I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
