My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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