In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
