On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
How's work?
Spinning.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
