I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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