She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
