i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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