Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
