yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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