is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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