Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
