You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
