No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
