Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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