Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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