you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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