is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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