ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
