Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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