And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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