WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
