whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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