were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
What drink are we having for lunch?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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