She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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