Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
